Interstate 40 destroyed our lands. Oh-Hey-Ey-Ahh…

Crank that Soulja Boy!

What decision and life events could have led them to assume it was you?

Retrospect should’ve just gassed him with aerosols.

What I would give to have a herd of rat killing terriers

William: This is what I like to do at the crack of dawn. James: Moan? William: Fight to the death for my mom.

Turns out God’s angels don’t protect me in vehicles north of the 60th parallel. To date every vehicle I’ve operated north of that line has suffered some type of catastrophic debilitating failure at my hands.

I need to find that Gypsy lady and get another smooch.

Robert: (reading) An amber alert for a missing child in your area… That’s the first time I’ve seen that. William: On Instagram? Robert: Yeah. (silence for 10 seconds) William: Can you like it?

Grilled chicken may feed my body, but a hybrid Tahoe feeds my soul.

POV: ur trying to sleep but the monument of change as it changes decides to wake you up at the crack of dawn to say “morning babe, Anchorage barometric pressure 420.69”

Slam it really hard to see if it calls the cops

I don’t even know why Courtney Johnson drove to school.

Home on the range... Where the antelope play… until Cole Norris takes out his 50 cal.

Time for a hearty breakfast of water and wheat thins.

You know what we could do? We could go bang on that wall till that old man wakes up.

Daniel: I could probably work some magic with those Eskimo women William: The sun god told me, “cancel the flight”

Robert: I wouldn’t really term Jackie a gold digger. William: She’s a *grave* digger.

William: The parental controls filter is gonna catch that. Daniel: You think THAT is the worst thing this home wifi has seen?

Michael: Why are you wearing a fishing shirt? William: *defensively* My sister asked me that exact same question. What makes you think this is a fishing shirt? Michael: The "Columbia Pro Fishing Gear (PFG)" logo on the front. William: Oh, is that what PFG stands for?

What most people don’t know about this movie is that it’s actually based on the true story of a corrupt corporate flight school messing with freelance instructors.

She’s beautiful, David

I’d sacrifice my firstborn for a Hololive JP member

Robert: it’s kinda sad William: what Robert: we’ll never really have the time to play on a Minecraft server like we used to *one day later* Robert: *sends stream of him watching Calli’s 10 hour Minecraft marathon* William: *noises of mocking*

Wonder what this guy thought when he got passed by a big off-road van in the right lane going 80 in a 45 at 2AM

What do you mean by a “hybrid daughter”? Like a hybrid Tahoe?

It's called "pay your fair share or Papa Wallace will come rape you".

Dogiio leche es muy bonita

Kids these days will never know what it's like to wake up and have a U2 album unexpectedly waiting for you on your phone.

Robert: I want a place with a basketball court in the backyard. William: Brooke- Robert: Yeah I know Brooke had a basketball court, she probably had a graveyard too, for all her dead old maids William: Did you go to that one birthday of Brooke’s where they had the Spurs cheerleaders there?

Some day… Whenever he is born… I shall sacrifice my first born for an ls400.

I hate the internet

William: Have you seen this? *link for folding@home* Robert: yeah, I had it running for a while. Robert: there is also minecraft@home which calculates world seeds William: Choices... Robert: LOL Robert: cancer... or minecraft?

White woman spotted.

William: I just got terrible news Benton: The last tomboy has died William: No, there is a recall on passenger airbags for the Hybrid Tahoe

Alright, the Slendytubbies download is complete.

William: This is how slow my server is. Server: *Windows Remote Desktop has disconnected*

After about 19 years, 9 months and 13 days, the blue Tahoe ashtray light has gone out. rip.

$17.50 will get me 350 miles of gas

I had the craziest realistic dream last night— it involved Teslas, Tahoes, and Soviets.

William: Have I told you about my great aunts dog? Robert: No William: We’ve lost count of how many honeybuns there have been.

THIS IS THE FOURTH MCDONALDS I’VE BEEN TO. Y’ALL BETTER HAVE SOME FOOD OR IM GONNA KILL MYSELF. Narrator: There was no McDonalds.

Willam: Mormon news. Mormon gas. Robert: Morman man! William: One thing they don’t got out here... *hushed tone* Mormon nigga.

William: Is that music coming from the bus? It’s rocking with the beat. Daniel: Oh, it stopped. William: Did the beat go off? AYE!

I don’t know if your sleeping bags are air-tight, but I had a little toot last night and almost killed myself.

I’m going to point out all the Tahoes in this movie.

As a connoisseur of cafeteria chocolate milk, I do say this is good stuff.

This isn't a mockery, its the junior/senior banquet ad.

I lowkey wanna hit a deer just to see how the car takes it