We’ve got Michelle Obama versus ole thick neck.

William: Although anyone can catch monkeypox, the outbreak was largely concentrated among men who had sex with men. Robert: Jackie Brieseño isn't a man, right?

Kaleb: Is your sexy ass ready? Robert: If my sexy ass was ready, my sexy ass would be ready. Kaleb: Well then is your sexy ass getting pampered and bronzed?

Robert: Yeah I carve a notch into my penis every year Kaleb ages. Kaleb: Like a tree ring!

Robert: There’s this Miko/Aqua cosplayer I follow on TikTok that was streaming today. I’m gonna try to get her to cosplay pregnant Towa. Benton: Abraham Lincoln, moments before his assassination.

Get you a woman that pisses standing up

Ethan: Robert, do you like crack? Robert: I like crack whores. Ethan: What's your favorite part about crack whores? Robert: Probably the community around them.

James: Alright, I ordered the breakfast of champions: a pretzel and a pazookie. Robert: Does he mean a paizuri? Matt: I think that's what he means, yeah.

Barret: What were you thinking for dinner? Robert: Man idk. I was looking for a chinese teahouse akin to the ones in Chengdu, with dirt floors and people smoking everywhere but we don't have those

Robert: bae's karaoke voice may not be gura... but it's not ame. and it has soul. James: Ame's has soul. The soul of a holocaust victim in their last moments.

Robert: Hmm, let's see... are there any Finnish restaurants in Seattle? Michael: I hope not, they only eat snow and twigs.

Robert: I'm surprised nobody's been flaming me. Ruben: I mean, I can start.

Robert: There was a tranny that died recently. Ethan: Who cares?

Robert: Did anyone at SACS ever get a spray tan? James: Cyril?

Robert: You know how Valve has that one logo of the guy with the twisty-turny thing on his head? Michael: You mean a valve?

Honestly, $10 can't buy you shit today, but back then it bought me a pint of queso.

Robert: I can't find any photos of a lifted LX470 with a light bar... I guess light bars are kinda tacky. Michael: Oh and a Towa-wrapped LX470 wouldn't be?

I never thought I'd hear my AI assistant tell me to start working on the underground dungeon for Mr. Foley's portable.

Mikopits!

Robert: (reading) An amber alert for a missing child in your area… That’s the first time I’ve seen that. William: On Instagram? Robert: Yeah. (silence for 10 seconds) William: Can you like it?

Robert: so you’re telling me you don’t listen to showtunes but you listen to this? Jordan: These are hot girls. They are the exception.

ChatGPT is just gonna tell you to cut off my wiener.

Michael: Robert’s roommate at Aspire had a dog. Robert: He originally wanted a piranha tank. Michael: Was he going to beat the piranhas?

My name is Robert and I am a cumbot bitch. I know Melinda Gates.

Robert: Do I want a Lassi? Hmm... Ethan: Lassie? You're having dog? Robert: Mango Lassi... Ethan: You're having Chinese food?

Robert: Corporate chuubas were a mistake Benton: Its either the corporate payroll or a psyche ward we both know that

Rachel: why is vtuber drama so insane Robert: menheras. If Shinjuku Catholic existed, it would be the primordial memetic lake of all culture in the eastern hemisphere. The sister school of Miller Grove.

Ethan: Kaleb you don't know know shit about dick Robert: If there's one thing Kaleb knows, it's dick.

The grass eater's only redeeming factor is she always has 2+ tablespoons of saliva in her mouth.

Robert: Kanauru is getting a lot better at creating a unified vision for his MVs and not having it just be a giant puddle of memes. Also: \textit{shion tummy}. Benton: \subtitle{Christmas List} \begin{itemize} \item towa tummy \end{itemize}

Robert: Can’t wait for the monochrome Fumo to reach the yahoo auctions Benton: "No mother, I instructed you to produce the Lagtrain Fumo by Christmas day. You know that now I have no choice but to shit in dishwasher while you slumber. I'm really just doing what needs to be done now that you've made your choice"

Benton: Do you think the Japanese know Gawr Gura? Robert: Of course, she's only the most subscribed vtuber of all time. Benton: Yeah, but like the general anime community in Japan? Robert: One in five Japanese women are probably vtubers. They know her.

Robert: Matt are you here? Matt: *unmutes* What? Robert: Matt, I want to be with you. In the Biblical sense. And yet, I feel like you're not even here. Matt: Robert, I want to be more than that with you. Robert: The Mormon sense? Matt: More than that. Robert: ... Matt: Have you heard of cumflation? *shared laughter* Robert: No, what's that?

Mikayla: There was one JET who died to a tsunami. Robert: There's only been one that died? Mikayla: No, there's been two. One was murdered, and one died to a tsunami.

Robert: Ethan are you trying to groom me? Ethan: I've been trying to groom you since elementary school.

Robert: Get some soju. Ryan: Soju? What’s that? Robert: Korean alcohol, just look it up. Ryan: DUDE as soon as I said that, all these Asian girls at Whole Foods just looked over at me. Some SOJU, you said?

Cringe is in the eye of the beholder.

Daniel: They've raised generations of people that are... morons. Can't pull a handle to pump gas into their own car. Robert: I don't know how to pump gas. Y'know, everytime I go to the gas station, I- sometimes I end up just squirting it into my mouth and spitting it back into the car. It's a hazard.

Robert: I wouldn’t really term Jackie a gold digger. William: She’s a *grave* digger.

Take my shekel, use it well. Do not saunter, do not dwell. Raise this coin up to the sky. Scream my name, but do not cry. The Dark Lord Robert commands this of you.

Daniel: Robert, I want you to understand that there are zero people our age that have done what we did today. Robert: What about that one kid that's flown around the world? Daniel: Congratulations, he can fly in a straight line!

Do you know what form of schizophrenia I wouldn’t mind? Just seeing Ame, Gura and Ina standing around. Walking up to everyone and asking for their autograph.

This is a parable on Vtubers

Anime Teacher: It is often said that the best way to learn a language is to have a lover that speaks it. Robert: I need me a lover that speaks Rust.

Robert: Hakunamacocka Griffin: Hakunamapenis

Robert: Why are you holding your nipples? Kaleb: He knows it turns me on.

Maggie: What’s the best country song? Robert: The last one.

Benton: Vtuber Lore be like: "Zephyrhills Reimu-Johnson is a cute and funny former resident of the planet Little Saint Jupiter. But whhaAatT!??!? She's over 2.34e12 years old! After searching the cosmos for the worst fans imaginable, she took the body of an 11 year old nekomimi and loves the color purple! Now she has to stream every 48 hours so that the Morbites she has within her soul do not consume her from the inside out. She loves to sing and her dream is to perform at the Tokyo Dome one day. Birthday 7/11" Robert: Vtuber lore be like: “Gawroobius Gooch is a spunky, corn-fed member of Niggasanji Orlando. When she isn’t volunteering at a local Lyger victim therapy group, she can be found overseeing the Hideyoshi gender affirmation station. Her favorite food is the Travis Scott burger (halal) and favorite color is imposter red. Her body was meticulously designed by a mentally ill Japanese woman banned from public parks and playgrounds. An Australian man was arrested in Bunnings’s lumber section for wearing her birthday celebration 2022 merchandise. Her dream is to go to Brazil. Please buy her latest album from your local redbox.”

Matt: Lemme tell you, my pussy's torn to shreds. Robert: You ever seen an Arby's steamrolled by an F-150?

How long til wombposting becomes a major US export

Robert: She can do more to heal a broken man than any plague doctor could back in the day. Ruben: I mean plague doctors were basically murderers.

Benton: At this point can we replace Stacys with Menhera? Robert: SACS’s Macie Pasini can’t compete with North Shinjuku Catholic’s Laplus Darkness

Some people deserve to have their spine marrow suckled out of them

Robert: What shall we toast to? Kaleb: To anal sex. Robert: To anal sex.

Ben: Someday I want to touch a female. Robert: Mrs. Quinones? Ben: I said I want to touch a FEMALE.

Kaleb: Robert, what are you doing right now? Robert: I'm strategically selecting the words these girls are saying to each other to maximize the likelihood of them having sex with each other.

Ethan: Robert you know why nobody likes you? Ben: I like Robert. Ethan: Robert, you know why nobody who matters likes you? Robert: Is it because Ben likes me? Ethan: Yeah...

Lee: who is Emma Brown Robert: A fertile goddess Benton: no please Michael: the love of my life Jade: a goddess Rachel: pungent and fertile Lee: rachel i miss u. i wish i could talk to my bestie aka u Rachel: im sorry bb im gambling rn

Robert: I’m sure Hannah and Ben will get married soon. Rick: Hannah and who? Robert: Hannah and… OH

Robert: amesame fortnite 😳 Benton: 1220s young men: "Aye, harvest will be plentiful this year after months of the work we put in son, let finish the stonework on the chimney lest we grow too cold". 2020s young men: "amesame fortnite 😳"

Robert: "She also holds a certification as middle school art teacher." Can you imagine if your middle school art teacher was Nakiri Ayame? Benton: My middle school art teacher was Black, you can't tell me she was Ayame.

Fubuki is the Ryan Seacrest of Japan and SHE still finds time to stream!

Robert: Must acquire art hoes Rick: I miss the good old days when you'd talk about school shooter natalie portman. Benton: Why is it so hard to find Fumocore Redneck Tomboys who will love me, I'm not asking for much in this world

James: *reading* Ramen Danbo Robert: Got dat dere Raamin Danbow James: Or as Mrs. Hullum would say, “Why did my husband leave me?!”

Pontiac n*ggas be like, “I think imma leave this right here”

Benton: Why are chicks so into serial rapists? Robert: You know.

If Cameron Walker spit in my mouth you’d be digging my grave within the hour.

LMAO some Audi and I just went like 90 in a 40 weaving through cars, man that was amazing. This must be how Russians feel every day. Mans was playing catch-up with a hail-damaged Sakura Miko.

Robert: it’s kinda sad William: what Robert: we’ll never really have the time to play on a Minecraft server like we used to *one day later* Robert: *sends stream of him watching Calli’s 10 hour Minecraft marathon* William: *noises of mocking*

Benton: Top video: Irys. Why? Robert: just look at the miko thumbnail and be healed. some eyebleach for you. Benton: Damn. That's a nice miko.

James: I hate games that won't let me alt-f4 Robert: That's nice. And how does that make you feel? James: Angry... with a kiss of horny.

I’d eat Mr. Foley’s ass if it was delivered to me by Korone on a motocompo

Robert: I had this thought... Could you parallelize- Nicko: Shitting on my chest? Robert: No, could you parallelize the reversal of a linked list.

MaddyCaddy: :takotime: Robert: damn, now I want a taco MaddyCaddy: it's working

Robert: Looks like there was a shooting in Austin. Ethan: What color was the shooter? Robert: Black. Ethan: Oh, don't worry about it then. It'll go away and nobody will care in a couple days.

Robert: Luby's gon' DIE witout dem ol' people James: Well, Robert, that's what old people do!

She reminds me of Ray William Johnson

Robert: The hololive girls must be Japan's first female comedians Benton: Japan's? They're the first female comedians ever!

When I wake up, if I don’t feel like absolute shit, I automatically assume I’ve overslept.

Robert: Why do I need to know "incur"? When's an anime girl gonna say "incur"?! Ethan: She's gonna say it right before she fucks you. Robert: "You will incur my fuck"

If I ever see nyanners in Seattle I'm gonna thank her for her "I Am Ur Leader" cover and then break her jaw

As the tomboy did not show any pits, I must now take leave of this life, hoping to reincarnate into a timeline when tompits are more freely shared. Not even the supplest of toe-shots in that film could satiate my personal pang for pits. Farewell, cruel world.

I needed to debug why the anime girl background wasn’t appearing for me.

Benton: How long have you been waiting for this? Robert: 5 years.

Robert: I want a place with a basketball court in the backyard. William: Brooke- Robert: Yeah I know Brooke had a basketball court, she probably had a graveyard too, for all her dead old maids William: Did you go to that one birthday of Brooke’s where they had the Spurs cheerleaders there?

James: What is this fire hydrant made of? Robert: Probably fire.

My sister had a dream about hololive. Mission accomplished.

Robert: Let’s just park in handicap for now. James: You’re basically handicapped.

Benton: Alright, pause— lore time. Robert: one sec. Robert: *waits for camera to pan to anime breasts* Robert: *pauses* Robert: alright, what?

Robert: Is this supposed to be someone? Benton: Looks like a whore.

I wish I could be Miko's cousin's old man

Benton: Why are these people making A-chan fan art, it's a waste of time Robert: No. Benton: Did you say "no"? Robert: dem JEANS doe

Robert: alright I'm gonna go watch some Kaguya-sama and that one with the children in the grass. Hunter: The one with the busty child? Robert: yeah

Benton: I think I liked shion in the beginning. Imagine that Robert: I like Shion Benton: I wasn't saying she was bad it's more like she's just what I imagine liking nowadays Robert: Jewish tummy, y'know? Benton: Ok yeah she is pretty tummypilled. Ok though Towa vs Shion: who is more tummypilled? Robert: Shion, ez Benton: Towa Tummy > shion midsection Robert: *vomit emoji* Benton: (((Shion))) Apologists: "I love watching shion be smug I hope she likes her black boyfriend". Towa Epic Cool People: "Wow I love how many cute noises she makes, her tummy is of high quality" Robert: Towalets (read: toilets): omg I can’t wait to watch my favorite russian oktavist do another binaural corn asmr video. I’m going to listen to those corn husks crinkle imagining they’re her armpit hair. Benton: Shion: more like pee on Robert: *god I wish that were me.jpg* Benton: yeah I shoulda seen that coming

William: Have you seen this? *link for folding@home* Robert: yeah, I had it running for a while. Robert: there is also minecraft@home which calculates world seeds William: Choices... Robert: LOL Robert: cancer... or minecraft?

Wish technology could make Artia’s pits sing too

A little difficult to ask for his business card after I just sent him a face full of anime titties

Fam was shit talking coco’s singing. On jah there will be a reckoning.

I am going to skull fuck them anyway

Alejandro: Only memes matter. Nicko: What about anime tiddies? Alejandro: Only memes and anime titties matter Robert: Really debating sending this sticker Alejandro: Embrace the absurd, embrace anime tiddies. Robert: *sends sticker of anime tiddies* Alejandro: Ah yes the meaning of life.

Robert: I wonder who has more trannies— computer science or english? Benton: Computer science. But the real question is: who was more traps? The answer is none of them. I haven’t seen any traps… that I know of. Astolfos lurk in the shadows.

I will not let my children go to college for a real degree. They will go to college to be a Hololive member.

Those who can’t yuri are subject to le Rasoir National.

Robert: Nvidia’s GPU Technology conference is now online Benton: Buncha queers

This guy is a software engineer at Spotify in Tokyo. Look how happy he looks.

Robert: They were talking about that at the anarchist roundtable last night. Benton: They were talking about RAILS?! Robert: No, removing your penis. Benton: Oh, okay.

Ryan: You can't make this up. We are in the end times. Robert: Make a chastity belt for plus size androgynous traps that unlocks according to smart contracts written on the consensual blockchain. Benton: Pitch a systems coding language for Moephillic teens who desire a bootstrapped JIT cuckpiler for ease of development aimed at designing a Websocket API for questions about their virtual partners sexuality and asking for consent.

I only say things that are absolutely necessary

I used Debian4Lesbians but Ubuntu has more pretty colors by default.

Rick: Are you familiar with cacafire? Robert: Cock on fire?

Robert: Now for a more normal one. Nicko: Electronic slurping?

Rick: You have 257 missed calls? Robert: No. Voicemails.

Do you have a dream? Can I give you a dream? I want to give you a dream. I want you to dream of lesbian anime girls. Cute ones. They are smiling. They are holding each other. Their warm breath coats each others faces, as they are locked in an eternal embrace. Please dream this tonight. Please wake from this dream rested-- to a wondrous Christmas morn. *a moderator has deleted your message* I apologize if my dreams, my aspirations were too lofty for a mortal such as yourself. Some of us take a look at the handful of earth we are given... and we are left wanting of more. For me, this more... this heavenly calling... is yuri. I am but a disciple of my dreams, a dancer to the beat of my heart. Moderator: man you are some weird motherfucker

Ryan: I guess Kerne wasn't the only one that did a PhD in arts and crafts Robert: Maybe she can teach distributed yuri Rick: NO ROBERT

That page of Manga was our only hope to break from that cycle of re-inventing LogMeIn Hamachi. I don’t need a relevancy delta to post a cute girl. The day I do will be the day the tablernacle splits.

I just wanted to proudly announce that after 8 hours of pouring over Hegel’s account of consciousness and truth in history, I have become possibly the first person in history to understand the message of the anime Code Geass. Despite how popular the show is, I cannot find a single reference on the internet that properly relates Kierkegaard’s intellectual tragic hero. It’s quite possible I will fall asleep before I finish my proper relation, but I just had to shout that all was not for naught.

God help the man that comes between me and Majo. God help the God that helps the man who comes between me and Majo. For if any man tried to come between me and Majo I would surely kill him *and* his God.

Robert: Can we have a Christmas Yuri Marathon? James: Yes. You bring the Yuri, I'll bring the Christmas.

Benton: Dude wtf no one told me the sequel was already out!!!! Robert: I hear the series went to shit after Treyarch bought them out Benton: Yeah i used to love the spinoff but once they added multiplayer to the first person rts section it got a little lame Robert: They took out Tank Dempsey from the lineup, and the nerfed Wunderlove just doesn't pack the same punch it used to. Benton: Yeah the Love-Love gun teir 3 ruined the dialogue choices. Hey but at least they got the speedrun down to 72:34:11 Robert: Yeah, can't believe Syndicate called AliA the n-word after his record was beaten. I hear Ninja might try for the W on mixer next week. Benton: Damn I gotta catch that stream. Yeah at least the VN battle royale ended up being well written. Honestly now that pewdiepie is at part 83 of his let's play I'm kinda oversaturated with it though. I just wish the game had more content you know, wayyy too basic Robert: I hear the Yogscast is going to do a playthrough of a modpack Ethoslab made for it. "BreedTheBeast", a WereBeast eroge plugin featuring a JIT-compiled Python2.6 scripting interface that allows the user to construct automated breeding factories in the game. For a tier-7 "Nookington's Cradle" breeding setup, the user gets 10E8 slopps (standard love-oriented pylons per second). This should be more than enough to quickly acquire an SMP SERVER (SensualMagnetic Pulse Stdlib::ERoge VERsion 1.39.0 [4560ea788]) that instawins any game. Robert: alright I'm done

Robert: Fuck Stephen. James: Yeah, he has someone to do that for him now. No longer has to pay-- Robert: No longer has to pay you? James: We're brothers. I do that for free.

Robert: Now you're thinking with portals. James: Now I can't think anymore.

I was trying to make a rhyme for Non Non Biyori, best I could think was Prawn Gone Seaworthy.

Getting to explore new places, enjoy breakfast at a cafe not listed on Yelp, and— this next part won’t fit between commas: Imagine you’re the only one in 70 miles who knows what a linked list is. You walk into this courthouse of morbidly obese government workers and start indexing their records, while some guy in India types out their text, and a DBA indexes them in an AWS elasticsearch instance. Every time that clerk lady walks past the motion activated elf, it sings a little song and dances. It annoys you at first, but then you realize she won’t have a job in 5 years. You smile.

I don't trust any philosopher on this side of the Atlantic.

Hannah: What language are you writing in? Robert: Mine. Shaponics. Mitchell: You should’ve called it Robertism. Ruben: That’s his religion. Mitchell: Oh, right.

Ryan: I know how that James operates. Robert: Like a sperg? Ryan: Like a windup toy.

Robert: Has the village been spared its rape and pillage? James: It hasn't been pillaged

Robert: Oh thank God, I found my prompt. Benton: What? Robert: I thought I lost my philosophy prompt and was going to have to ask the professor to send it to me again. Benton: You're going to write your Hegel paper on Love Live? Robert: OH, if I were doing that— I'D BE DONE BEFORE THE SUN CAME UP. Chika the Hegelian hero.

Nothing like listening to J-Pop while reading about the abolition of private property

Lol they’re having a scripting languages class in Spain. I wish I learned Python from a gypsy.

James: Happy 9/11 Robert: It *is* a happy 9/11. Wouldn’t you say? James: Why yes.

Robert: I just had to catch up on sleep after watching that stupid snail movie instead of resting. Robert: My statements against Turbo were made in good faith. James: They better be. I literally missed work today because of it Chris: you two have allowed this snail movie to disrupt your sleep, your work, your very lives. I am disappointed James: Ah that’s unfortunate. Chris apparently does not have the mental capacity to even begin to understand the nuances of this movie

Robert: Your cat doesn't lick my feet anymore. That was the only reason I came over here. James: UUUGGGGHHH *pretends to murder cat* James: UGGGGGHHHH *grabs cat's head and shoves towards feet*

Robert: *calls* James: Shut up Robert: *calls again* James: I'm out eating Robert: I want you to savor every bite *hours pass* James: ok what Robert: I was getting raped but Mr. Foley is gone now Robert: no thanks to you James: What do you think I was eating Robert: popcorn? James: Mr. Foley Robert: Ah that was going to be my fifth guess

If you eat that last bagel I will molest you.

William: Have I told you about my great aunts dog? Robert: No William: We’ve lost count of how many honeybuns there have been.

If you were a quantitative film studio browsing HireAggies, what would make you moan louder?

Kyle: Robert what’s the first attractive celebrity you can think of? Robert: Mila Kunis is the first to come to mind, but isn’t she pretty old now Kyle: Ah, you’re right. I guess we’re getting old. Who’s the fresh blood now? Kush: Are you going for a career in Hollywood or something?

*Sees dog* Robert: Meow Michael: Looks just like Angel Robert: Looks just like what I had at Chinese last night Michael: We had Thai.

Kyle: If you had to eat one of every native animal for a country, which country would you pick? Robert: Saudi Arabia just has what— camels? Maybe some lizard meat? Kush: What does India have? Kyle: Elephants... HAHA!

Robert: She apparently works on Windows update Kush: a thankless job if I’ve ever heard it

Hannah: Why is eating healthy so hard? Robert: I’m taking a 1hr 5min bus ride to get fried chicken

Robert: That’s a C++ dev getting comforted by an 800 year old fox girl Ryan: 🤔😍

James: Boy Robert: Girl James: Hermaphrodite Robert: Gamer

Benton: Does a ring dunk count if its’ with gamer girl pee? 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 Robert: I would say that’s the only time it counts. Probably gonna do mine with Guava juice. Benton: Good point. Koreans be like “Let’s go to ShareTea I gotta do my ring dunk”.

Robert: Server is down. James: oh lol ur not on autostart James: because ur a BITCH James: remember that James: On your deathbed, you're going to have to tell your son Robert: I will be leaving a 1 star review for this hosting service Robert: I will have no sons Robert: only daughters James: "son, you may think your father was a good man" James: "but I must come clean" Robert: Any son of mine will be made into a daughter whether he likes it or not Robert: especially if not James: "I've lived my life humbly, and frugally" James: "But there is something I have not told you" James: "I am a bitch" Robert: "Now give your daddy a big wet kiss on the lips"

m'itchell M'itchell...Sweet, Sweet Prince ,,, A Knight's Prayer For You: Of all the sunsets and sunrises... Of all the beautiful flowers that grow on this Earth.. Of all the stars that glow in the heavens and the universe... you above all are more beautiful in my eyes. No man has seen nor beheld such a Prince or God as I behold in you. And I have now seen such beauty, warmth, and grace... as I have seen the depths of your beautiful soul. But, alas my heart may never know the honor of holding you, feeling the warmth of your kiss, or the tenderness of your arms. Because of our age difference... my heart will be filled with the honor of having to just behold your warmth and beauty within my dreams... But will be saddened to wake in the mornings to find you not there... Only in my dreams will we love, laugh, and go through the adventures of life... For you M'itchell... I wish you all the happiness, love and joy that life has to offer, and that all your hopes, wishes and dreams will always come true for you... I pray that you may honor me by us becoming friends... and in time more... But M'itchell, my Prince, I will honor your desires... and will respect all your wishes... But in my heart... you will forever be... In all I have written M'itchell... I am very sincere... and hope for that which may not be meant to be...that we may find Camelot together... By Your Leave M'itchell... and with the most honor and respect I can give... I remain., your Servant and Knight forever should you ever have need of me... Sweet itchell,,,, My name is Robert, and I would be very honored if you would allow me the privledge and pleasure of us becoming good and close friends. I bid you... By Your Leave M'itchell....... Sincerely, a kind internet gent(le)sir. Happy Birthday.

42 is not the number of paths man must walk in life, but the number of times man must screenshot antisemetic gamer Maki-chan

Luke: If you’re drunk you can’t tell you’re walking in a straight line. Daniel: What are you talking about? *stumbles as he walks* Robert: I’m going to walk the tangent of this fire pit. Luke: Now walk the cotangent. Robert: *pauses* *begins to walk in arcsin*

Willam: Mormon news. Mormon gas. Robert: Morman man! William: One thing they don’t got out here... *hushed tone* Mormon nigga.

Most people think we do algebra, but rather we are interested in \textit{building algebras}

I have like two terabytes of anime

Robert: I don't know what's a worse fate: to die while lerping, or to die while larping. Chris: At least we're not slurping.

Robert: This is Harry’s. Ryan: No, there aren’t any lesbians at Harry’s. Robert: This is what Harry’s could be.

Robert: Oooo! I found Melon seeds! Do we have melons yet? Luke: Yeah. Griffin: You know who else has melons? Mrs. Meisenheimer.

You’re in the ZEEC, you’re waiting for your wearable technologies class to start. Its EV3 testing time, and the packed halls of musty freshmen have brought the room temperature up to 85 degrees. 10 minutes after class was to begin, Chaspari walks in the room. She can’t connect to tamulink-WPA, due to the EV3 Bluetooth protocol creating a LOIC attack on the 802.11 frequency. When she is seconds from giving up and simply writing on the walls, you spot him— a man walking with a maroon vest that reads “TAMU IT Services”. You get up from your chair, and run to the glass door. “Hey, can we get some help in here?!”, you cry. “Sure thing! I’ll primp you up!”, he replies. You look back to Chaspri, she’s smiling. You’ve become her hero. [ Kavinsky - Nightcall starts playing ]

I’d take robot Natalie Portman over Gabi

Long live the breathers of memes, for they will inherit this world.

I’m thankful for 4chan, bibtex, Riad Masri, library genesis, French and German electronic music, Hopdoddy, google docs, cute lesbian Japanese middle schoolers, and the BitTorrent protocol.

Artificial intelligence will take my grandson’s virginity

I’m sitting in my leather chair, a wool blanket draped over it. My feet are outstretched on my subwoofer, putting me in the reclined position. My heater is on, warming my room to a stable 72 degrees. My 4K monitor has questions about polynomial rings on one side, and nightcore on the other. It is a blessed day to be alive.

Mixing Macports and Homebrew is like mixing crude oil and thermite in a duckling exhibit

Chris: I’m wearing a wolf skull! James: I’m wearing bones, all over! Robert: I’m black!

You’re leaving blocker. You just proved the run time of Pohlig Hellman for breaking DLP encryption. You zip up your hoodie and feel the cool wind on your toes through your sandals. It’s going to be a comfy day.