“Run over those kids!”
"Sorry I haven't been very enthusiastic this week. I just wish I was dead."
“Come on now crackers.”
“Doing something fun and getting paid for it is like mainlining heroin.”
“I'm always ready for squelchy noises.”
"You beat it like you beat a red headed stepchild."
"Don't mess with old black guys. If you lived in my neighborhood you would have had your ass kicked."
"Don't come in here and giggle children."
“If my dog was as ugly as you I would shave it’s butt and make it walk backwards.”
“Please let me hear it and don’t give me raspberries.”
“Please leave your squirrelly things back in middle school.”
"Is that a dinosaur, my kid happens to love dinosaurs."
“Hey freshmen, SHUTUP, this ain’t middle school!”
*an ant falls from air duct onto William’s neck. William swats it away* Dave: “What was that?” William: “An ant fell on me from the air vent” Dave: “That dirty bastard.”
Anthony: “There is a time and place for that kind of stuff…” Dave: “Yeah, like prison.”
"But Kambiss has no friends."
"Zach, you're lifting your elbows too much. You're trying to play drums, not fly away!”
"Just take it like a man will ya?”
"Just give it a real good licking.... that sounded really wrong didn't it..."
"No more games. Some aren't mature enough!”
"Zach you're lifting your elbows too much. You're trying to play drums, not fly away!”
Zach: “Mr. Eskridge can I have a water?” Dave: “NO.”
“Don’t Harlan, that is the destruction of something perfectly good for no apparent reason.”
“He’s coming after me saying, “You killed my brother…. Bastard.”
“I’ll just be walking around, going about business, and then I can’t find my coffee!”
“If you can’t find a cable, beat it rape it and take it.”
William: "Who are those people?” Dave: “Oh… they’re nobody.”
Stephen: “What’s the gayest picture on the Internet?” Dave: “How bout yo face…”
“Here Anthony have some guitar porn.”
“You say my logic is flawed; come talk to me sometime like real men do.”
“My car is a sewing machine on wheels. I mean seriously, who looks up and says Oh, here come a badass in his Suzuki.”
“Don’t hang your bass that low. You look retarded.”
“Don’t be stupid. Stupid people are stupid.”
“Play with the band. Not with yourself.”
“He was this big black guy with thighs like this big!” (motions with hands about 2 feet wide)
“Get outa here. Nobody wants you here right now.”
“Hey! No body gives a shit about the amp right now!”
“Stay in the pocket. The pocket is everything to you right now. The pocket is greater than you… Yo momma… Only God is greater than the pocket right now!”
“ Gurrrp…. That was a burp. If it was a fart y’all would be dead by now.”
“Sometimes I just want to unstrap my bass and beat you with it.”
“Hey! Shut up!!!”
“Enough of this childish bullshit”
“Where does my name come from? My name comes from Scotland, There are these hills you see, these ridges? (draws hump on white board) They are known as the eskeridges.”