Anthony: I love it here in Colorado! Passengers can drink in the car, and liquor stores are open on Sundays! Michael: As they should be! Anthony: You're Goddamn right! What did Jesus turn water into? Wine! An alcoholic beverage.

We used to get death threats every deck from Rednecks telling us to air the cowboys games

I told you about the time Carina and I almost getting shanked at the cemetery, right? Three black guys in hoodies got out of their car and started running towards us with knives, so we ran and hid in this taco shack. Then we called the cops and they arrested them right in front of us.

Nick: WHERE'D HUNTER GET THOSE SNACKS? Anthony: Here, have some dark rye. Nick: How 'bout you have some dark dick.

Anthony: I'm not gonna worry about things I have no control over. Nick: Anthony, you're the KING of worrying about things you have no control over.

I wanna make nick drink a drink i made in college called the west mexico abortion

I just wanna bet on eggroll. Maybe fried dog will do well.

I can't wait for him to sing suck a nigga dick!!

Anthony: Gotta tell you guys the news I found out yesterday Hunter: Anthony's pregnant Anthony: Yeah nick came in my cockhole

Long live big changes

Michael, just spray 'n pray. That's what I say when I wanna have kids with your asshole.

My asshole is literally like a faucet with sweat

I think every pore in my body was open when I shit that chicken out

Only Robert is allowed to tickle my prostate.

Teammate: You guys are dogshit Anthony: Hey, you are what you eat, bro

YOU BAKED US LIKE SHRIMP

Anthony: Robert we’re watching videos of people lighting farts on fire! Michael: YOU’RE watching!